There are things in the world that are important and good. There are also a lot of other things.
Separate from that which is good, important, is a corpus of activities that tend to produce and/or maintain the G/I.
Separate from this corpus is, presumably, some kind of infrastructure necessary for humans to coordinate these activities, many tiny acts that indirectly sustain those who directly sustain the G/I. This level is opaque, difficult to perceive, difficult to quantify…
Often, it feels as though you’re completely cut off from that system.
Most people agree that some art is good. A few can even explain why.
@ctrlcreep so humans do you feel like this because I often feel like this about art & scattered dreamscape thought vs., like, math & depth?
I’m not bad at math. I don’t know whether I’d be bad at depth, if it was what I applied myself to. I value these things very highly, I don’t apparently lack any necessary inherent talent, I punish myself for not pursuing them with guilt and self-doubt, and proceed to thoroughly ignore them in favor of art, daydreaming, writing.
A few potential explanations:
- I am kidding myself about being capable of math/depth/etc.
- This preference for math and depth is externally imposed and is creating predictable psychological stresses.
- …somebody once told me, “You have a telos,”
We’re back where we started. When I am feeling sad about my apparent separation from the G/I, I find myself saying things like “I hate art,”, “Art is a useless waste of time,” and most famously, “Drawing is exactly the same as microwaving kittens.” That last statement is probably false; but still, drawing isn’t building bridges.
Wise people know that you can’t ignore motivation. You’re not going to dedicate 10,000 hours to something you hate, but you’re also unlikely to spend that much time doing anything you aren’t intensely, inexplicably obsessed with. Want to become a genius? Follow your star.
But sometimes that star is bullshit and wrong. What do you do when the things you love to do fail to align with the things you know are important and correct?
(The correct answer is: spend 10,000 hours developing an incredibly honed metaskill of preference-changing.)
@ctrlcreepif you feel like this, what do you feel like this about (the dialogue may be internal) (I am collecting data / sorrows)
I regret that some of my commentary may have skewed responses towards expressing an art/science type split. My personal struggle is less right brain/left brain bunk, and more [urge to create beauty + questioning utility of beauty], or [urge to explore the limits of what’s possible vs. urge to expand the limits of what’s possible].
Who determines what art is made? My overwhelming intuition is “the people who make the paints and the brushes”.
I’m really envious of your thought style but have developed mine for “math & depth”
The grass is always greener, huh.
Well, this makes sense: because I tweet a lot of creative fluff, I’m followed by people who enjoy and value creative fluff. In turn, I follow perhaps more math and logic people than you’d expect.
Side note: There are a lot of mindspaces. I have never in my life imagined what it would be like to be seeped in “business/marketing” – pretty cool.
So anyways, these people are all wrong. I have thought a lot, have looked upon my works and spat, thinking, “This should be a spaceship or something.” Despite my best efforts, it never is.
Bill has never won a game of minesweeper. Every time he comes close, as near as one final square to be clicked, he’s focusing, “Don’t mess this up, Bill. This is your chance. You’re nearly there.” His hand spasms, it all blows up.
Why are you locking yourself out of everything that is G/I? Have you tried not doing that?
Look, I’m just trying to convey the pain of having highly dissonant preference/values systems.
Specialization is a necessity. 10,000 hours is arbitrary, but it does a good job of representing the correct thing, a massive investment of time and effort. Everything that isn’t the one thing you want to be good at is opportunity cost. You’re fucked. Choose, or be mediocre.
You don’t get to choose, though. These kinds of calculations become apparent long after your formative years, long after the calcification of habits and preference.
The things you are good at are easy and vacuous. The things others are good at are hard and full of value.
Maybe art is valuable, if only as pellets of motivation and fuel for those pursuing higher things. Mosquitoes are an irreplaceable part of the ecosystem. It’s the circle of life, man. All the creatures are vital. More saliently: We don’t all get to be the apex predator.
You want to interact directly with G/I? No. Sorry. Try rationalizing that you’re part of its support system.
There are things in the world that are important and good. It’s probably impossible to know whether you’re in contact with them.
TL;DR: inferiority complex and everything is terrible. all hail STEM